Most of us want to live happier and healthier lives. In pursuit of this cause we often analyse what we need to do to make ourselves happy.
The answer seems easy, do more of what we like and less of what we don’t like. It comes as an annoying surprise when we find this doesn’t always provide us with the life we found ourselves working so hard to achieve.
Here’s the thing though – maybe we are looking for happiness in the wrong places?
Throughout our lives, we have experiences that we collect together and use to define who we think we are, both to ourselves and to those around us. We hold these emotions and experiences like a treasure chest, containing everything we have chosen to keep for ourselves on this journey we call life.
Every memory, occurrence and emotion. Every hurt and every joy – all we have learned (or been taught), everything we have stored and remembered, is put together and becomes who we think we are. We often pack our chests full believing that without the baggage we wont be anybody.
Both Yoga & Reiki teach us to look more closely, to recognise that when we allow our mind and our ego to hold sway over the reality of who we truly are, it’s hard to find happiness because we don’t really know ourselves or what makes us happy. Its a bit of a forest for the trees scenario.
How much of that treasure chest really represents who we are now?
Are we happy to allow the contents of the chest to define us?
Sometimes we need to lift the lid and take a look inside, throwing out those things that don’t align with who we truly are, getting rid of outmoded beliefs or fears and leaving space for the things that matter most. The things that makes us genuinely content.
So if we want to be happy perhaps the answer is that we need to give up a few things rather keep adding more and more and wondering why its not working. Here are a few ideas :
Give up trying to control everything : Getting caught up in trying to stick rigidly to unrealistic schedules or trying to control the behaviour of others only creates anxiety and stress. Relax.
Give up needing to be right. In reality, we all see things differently, situations; colour; even life!
Looking at things from different perspectives isn’t about finding fault with others views or simply the perspective that meets our own narrative, its about understanding that the same thing can mean differing things to each of us and that’s OK. (except maybe pineapple on pizza!) Let it go….
Give up criticism (of yourself and others) : Really – whats the point? Think about it – when you criticise how do you feel? Happy and relaxed? Kind? Or negative and grouchy? Why not choose to focus on what makes you happy? Science has proven that people who experience gratitude are much happier than those who spend time seeing the negative in themselves or the world around them.
Give up your need for people to understand you : The truth is sometimes people wont. Ask yourself why it’s so important? Finding peace and happiness means knowing that only you need to understand you.
Give up the need to be liked : Stop trying to twist and contort yourself into someone you believe others will like. Be yourself – the world will adjust!
Give up resistance to change : Change whilst it may not always feel pleasant, is always imminent. It’s an ongoing process that powers the universe. When we stop being fearful and see it for what it really is, it offers the ability to grow, evolve and become the person we were meant to be – embrace it!
Remember – we are not the sum total of that chest we carry around – our mind is a wonderful tool – but it is simply a tool. Close your eyes, breathe, be kind to yourself . If you want to get happy – get to know yourself.
‘Be at least as interested in what goes on inside you as what happens outside. If you get the inside right, the outside will fall into place’ Eckhart Tolle
